There are so many days in my life I wish I could go back. The girl I am today wants to go back so desperately. There is so much I would want to do differently, want to change, but even more, if I could only do one thing if I went backwards I would just want to speak.
I promise I won’t touch anything, I won’t even displace the worst and hardest moments that I would be extremely tempted to shift even just a bit. But if the genie in the lamp granted me only one wish I would travel through time if only to go back and talk to her. I would tell her “She is Loved”, I would tell her “It’s going to be Ok”, I would tell her “There is a Plan”, I would tell her “There is Beauty up ahead whether she can See it or Not”. I would whisper hope and she would believe it because the future me can’t be argued with, she knows what she is talking about.
So often I wish I could go back, but I am stuck. Stuck in the beauty of today’s rays of sun and the memories of stormy weather.
Backwards isn’t an option, just hope for tomorrow. So here I sit, hopeful for tomorrow but with some of the debris of yesterday still lurking around today’s cozy corners.
I can’t go back. But something has to be done about today. So today I am choosing a new strategy other than rubbing all the lamps I come into contact with. Today, I am thinking instead, of what the future me would whisper in my ear if she could visit me today.
What would she say? What would she whisper? Would I believe her? Well I’d have to, she knows what she is talking about.
What would it look like if she sat with me here and met me at this coffee shop?
I am envisioning what that would look like.
Of course, I would be interested in what she orders to drink, just out of curiosity. But even more are her words. What she says, and will she say what I so desperately need to hear? As she speaks, I would write it all down not wanting to miss a single moment. Not wanting a breath that comes out of her mouth forgotten so it can stick with me for the days to come. If she sat here, I know what she would say.
I would want details and content, but that would alter the future, so she would just have to give me advice. If she sat here, here’s what she would say: “You are Loved”, “It’s going to be Ok”, “There is a Plan”, and “There is Beauty up ahead whether you can See it or Not”. And I would have to believe her, because the future can’t be argued with, she knows what she is talking about.
She would sit with me, and I would find security in her smile, and I would hear those words, and I would feel safe in the comfort they bring from the trusted resource she is to my life.
That’s what it looks like for the tables to be turned, for me to stop focusing on going backwards to talk to a girl I will never get the number for in my past, and instead answer the phone from the girl on the other end that is my future. She has words to whisper if only I stop to listen instead of focusing on how to speak to who I was yesterday.
These whispers through time from the future bring me hope, but if it takes the mystery of meeting her at a coffee shop for me to believe those truths than I might be in trouble. If my hope is waiting for her to walk through those doors I will be sitting here longer than the Barista would like. But there is still hope, because there is another option.
Those words, those whispers, those truths, those proclamations over my life, they have all been said before, and they are still being said over my life today and the unknown of what is to come.
The whispered words that I struggle to hear at different points in my life are the words on repeat within my life. Even today. Here. Right now. There are words that have always been here, it is the belief and faith that they are coming from a trusted source that I really need to work on.
Whether I sit here sifting in the smell of the much anticipated pumpkin spice ringing in the season of Fall into existence, or if I was at home, folding the clothes in the dryer that are waiting for my arrival. No matter where I am, these words of truth are upon me, if only I trust the source, coming from a voice that has been whispering them here with me, is here beside me, and the voice that goes before me consistently whispering these words: “You are Loved”; “It’s Going to be OK”; “There is a Plan”; “There is Beauty up ahead whether you can See it or Not”.
“YOU ARE LOVED” Jeremiah 31:3 “I have Loved you with an everlasting Love.”
“IT’S GOING TO BE OK” Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who Love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
“THERE IS A PLAN” Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”
“THERE IS BEAUTY UP AHEAD WHETHER YOU CAN SEE IT OR NOT” 2 Corinthians 5:7 “I will walk by faith even when I can not see.”
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