There was an act that took place over 2000 years ago. We hear its story told and retold every year. The story of our Savior Jesus Christ dying the indescribable death on a cross. This is a history lesson. A past event that describes love overcoming death. We look back at this story, thankful that our current sins were paid in the one act of selfless and sacrificial death Jesus paid for us.

I am thankful, grateful, and speechless at the dooming future my life deserves if I had to pay this debt from my own pocket.

Today I am changing the way I look at that day, and I want you to share this experience with me.

Crowder put out a song called Forgiven that I can’t stop listening to this morning. I saw him live in concert the other night so his songs are fresh on my playlist today.

I am reflecting with my Jesus this morning. Not just thankful for the gift of forgiveness and the price Jesus paid for it 2000 years ago. But in the position of understanding that it was me that put him there.

That gift of love, through the act of forgiveness doesn’t just happen because of the people that were there on that day 2000 years ago. Jesus looks at me as forgiven even with the nail and the hammer in my hands. As my life crushes his bones and blood pours out of his flesh. He looks at me as forgiven. He looks at me like he loves me. Like he has a plan.

He died for me on my worst day not just my best one.

That brings me to my knees.

The intimacy and love you are searching for with Jesus will only grow closer if instead of believing he forgives you because he forgives everyone, you start to believe that it is personal. That you were there that day. That the history lesson is an experience you witnessed because you were there.

You felt the cold nail between your fingers and the weight of the hammer in your hand.

In that moment, while you looked him in the eyes as he bled on your behalf he loved you still. You didn’t understand it at the time, but you are grasping it now. Loved while a criminal, loved with all your flaws, loved without deserving it, and loved while unaware that you were putting to death the very love you have searched for all your life.

What we break, God rebirths into something we never see coming. We killed and crushed our way out. But God turned things around and made that “Cross meant to kill my Victory” because his “death is hell’s defeat”.

I believe it today. That he loved me even when it was me that put him there. That deep rooted personal love that pierces my heart and stretches my brains capacity to understand.

Thank you Lord for loving this criminal. For breaking my chains. For letting me once again breath the air I don’t deserve.

Show me more. I want to know more.

Crowder “Forgiven” –

Crowder “Victory” –


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